The things we never do
It began again with a friend’s question on Facebook.
“I’m from St Louis”, she wrote, “and I’ve never been to the top of the arch. Have you?”
And that started The Legal Genealogist back down Memory Lane again.
Because every last one of us, I suspect, has That Place firmly in our minds.
The place we grew up with … and never went to.
Or at least never went to until some touristy friend from out of town decided to go and dragged us along.
Some place in our own backyards that everyone else sees… and we don’t.
Some place we figure will always be there, and we can always go to, some day.
Me, I’ve spent the vast majority of my life living within a scant few miles of two major American cities: New York City and Washington, D.C.
And the sheer number of places-I-should-have-gone-to and things-I-should-have-done long before I did is nearly endless. There are still some on my “I really ought to” list even here at this stage of my life.
Now I’m not going to take the rap for some of this. The fact is, my parents never took us anywhere in New York City except the circus, and then only until the number of kids (five, then six then…) exceeded the number of parental hands (four). So I can say I went to Madison Square Garden as a kid, to see the circus.
And of course there were the obligatory school trips to the Hayden Planetarium and the Museum of Natural History and the magical outing when I was in seventh grade to see Oliver on Broadway.
But any other New York City landmark? Central Park? Empire State Building? Nope. Not until I was grown. And generally because some touristy friend from out of town wanted to see something.
Ditto for my years in the Washington, D.C., area. Tourists are such a fact of life in the D.C. metro area — and such an annoying fact of life — that the locals tend not to do any of the touristy things or go any of the touristy places. Unless a touristy friend comes in from out of town.
Yet it’s often those touristy folks from out of town who help us to the most magical moments, isn’t it?
For me, it was an Easter weekend many years ago. I’m going to guess at the year, but 1982 is pretty close. My brother Warren was living with me, and my cousin Susan was coming to visit for the weekend. A very young widow, and rarely if ever in the New York area before. So Easter had to be special.
Which meant — ulp! — I needed to figure out something special to do.
I remember asking some of my colleagues for suggestions and getting the disdainful, “Well, if you want the touristy thing…” type of response.
And, well, yeah, actually, that’s just what I wanted. And so I made a reservation at a lower Manhattan restaurant for Easter dinner in a very touristy place. A very early dinner — early afternoon as I recall, because that’s all I could get.
But we did get a table right along the windows and I was able to watch my cousin’s face as she took in the city from high above. To watch my brother’s face. And — truth be told — to savor the view myself.
It was the one and only non-business occasion I was ever in that building. It was the one and only time I was ever in that restaurant. And it’s something that, today, I can’t repeat.
The restaurant?
Windows on the World.
The location?
The North Tower of the World Trade Center.
Which collapsed into a pile of rubble on the 11th of September 2001.
I’m so glad that my touristy cousin from out of town came to visit that Easter. And that I decided to do the very touristy thing and go to that very touristy place.
It was a magical moment in a place that I pretty much grew up with … and would likely never have gone on my own.
The place is gone now, and so is that sweet cousin. Time marches on.
Which reminds me.
There’s a restaurant at the top of the new Freedom Tower, pictured above, now in my backyard.
I think I’ll make reservations for a day when everything opens back up.
And the next time I’m in St. Louis?
I’m going to the top of the Arch.
Dragging along some local who wouldn’t have gone except for some touristy friend from out of town…
Cite/link to this post: Judy G. Russell, “In the backyard,” The Legal Genealogist (https://www.legalgenealogist.com/blog : posted 29 May 2021).
SOURCES
Your post brings back memories. I grew up on Long Island, and my grandparents would take us (my brother and I) into New York City by train/subway to Central Park, the Hayden Planetarium, and the Museum of Natural History. But, like you, there were places we never visited. Grown up, married, and with a daughter, you visit new things. When our daughter was in 8th grade (she is now 31), her class went to Washington, DC. At the end of that trip (before traveling home), I took my wife and daughter to New York City. For the first time, we had lunch at Tavern on the Green, visited Macy’s to see the display windows (it was right before Christmas), and got to experience New York City in the snow. Fond memories.
Friends of mine were married at Tavern on the Green — another magical location!
The Arch in St Louis – I went up with a friend when I was attending a conference. Up that zig-zaggy bumpity-bump arch in very small ‘cars’ to the top. Where I was shocked by the fact that “there’s nothing to see!” – Yeah, flat everywhere around. I really didn’t know about the geography of the area at all. A fun experience, regardless. Enjoy!
Yeah, that area isn’t exactly known for interesting topography! 🙂
I’d love to go to the top of the Arch with you!! I’ve been before – but it’s been many, MANY years ago.
Next time I’m out there, you’re on!
My dad was a civil engineer in Missouri, and stationed in the metro St. Louis area while the Arch was under construction. He took his home movie camera to the site periodically – so he had home movies of the Arch from the digging/pouring of the foundations to the 2 legs meeting in the middle.
That’s terrific!
Sad to say, I grew up outside of Boston and never did the Freedom Trail. I have been on Old Ironsides – because a friend’s cousin was in town and wanted to go. We wanted to do the Arch, but downtown was torn up and there was no place to park the RV. Next time we’ll find a parking lot farther away and Uber in.
See? Everybody has a place like that…
Ditto re: the Freedom Trail! I’ve lived and worked in the same area and still haven’t walked the trail. Retiring soon…will add to my bucket list. Planned to go up the Arch about 30 years ago while visiting a friend, but the city was totally fogged in.
My son lived in St. Louis for 4 years, so our last visit there, we did the arch. But, I live on Long Island and am President of a genealogy society and have never been to Ellis Island! I have to get there!
We do take a lot of things in our back yards for granted. I found myself knowing more about some of the places I later lived in than parts of my hometown. Just like some of the recently arrived families of my childhood who seemed to have been to places I had not. But then again, as a small child, we seemed to spend half our Sundays visiting family as there were lots of them. Went back in later life for a couple of years and discovered so much more. But there are also the humble locations that often nobody but locals talk about: a particular park, a small beach, a hidden waterfall in the hills, a particular viewpoint or fishing spot.
Just get out and explore. Whether it’s big and visually obvious – or not.
My late husband and I traveled around my home state of Missouri (pronounced Missourah in my family, thank you very much!) before he left for VietNam in 1968, and one of the places we visited was St. Louis. We spent part of a day on the riverfront and enjoyed seeing the Arch, but as a member of the armed forces he was absolutely NOT going to stand in line for two hours to ride the little cars to the top. In 2019 I was in St. Louis again with some of my family. While my daughter-in-law and granddaughter attended a conference, my sister, my son, my grandson and I rode one of those little cars to the top. How I wished my husband was there to share that experience with me, fifty-one years later!
Glad you got the chance to do it, and with family too!
I’m from the SF Bay Area and have mostly avoided the tourist spots over the years. But when I took a job in Manhattan when I turned 40 I became the consummate tourist! It was a magical year and a half. I did all of the tourist stuff when I first arrived in the city. But then I had a number of friends who came to visit and wanted to see all the famous sites. Because of their visits, I’ve been to the Statue of Liberty & Ellis Island five or six times, Empire State Bldg at least three or four. And when my godson came to visit, I purchased “New York’s 50 Best Places to Take Children” and off we went to tour Madison Square Gardens, NBC Studios, FAO Schwarz, the World Trade Center (we climbed to the rooftop), NYC Transit Museum and the Statue of Liberty (the crown was still open), just to name a few spots. We rode the subway every where and I made sure my godson stood at the front car so he could look out the window at the tracks. I also played tour guide for my parents. My dad still talks about that terrific four days they spent with me seeing the wonders of NYC.
I was there on 9/11 in midtown at my company’s office building. I was supposed to fly back to San Francisco that day. Had I skipped the WTC with my godson or not attended my company’s holiday party at Windows on the World, I would have lost out on an incredible experience.
Be curious, be a tourist and don’t delay. There’s no guarantee that those iconic spots will always be there.
So many magical places, for sure… sigh… someday I’ll have to write up the day my sister and I pretended we could afford to shop in FAO Schwartz!
When I left Boston to live in NYC, I didn’t even know where the Old North Church was. So in NYC, I did the touristy things immediately. Really great later when friends visited as I then knew what was worthwhile, how to get discounted tickets, etc. made a rule of this, so when 10 years later I worked in Philadelphia, I again made sure to see the sights. Still can’t recommend where to stay in my hometown area (Schenectady/Saratoga), but am so glad I learned to ignore the other tourists and just go!
The mention of the Windows on the World brings back memories. We were in NYC in the late 90’s and went up in the Towers. After doing the observation areas, we were going to eat, but my wife got ‘building sick’ as the minute swaying of the building affected her. Went down and then to a nearby deli on ground level.
The transit to the top of the Arch is more interesting, in my opinion, than the view.
Bottom line: Go to those places you’ve ignored for years, see the hometown sights.
I’ve never been to the Edison Tower…have you, Judy?
Actually… yes! I was selected to give a talk about the tower in 10th or 11th grade (otherwise, I doubt I would have gone).
Judy – as you said, we all have those places. Mine in NYC was the Statue of Liberty that I visited when my\my children and I were visiting NYC and staying with my parents. As for the Empire State building, I have done that but I prefer the RCA Building (or did when you could see the ocean liners docked in the Hudson River.
In 1969, I was working in Reading PA but the company sent me to classes in NYC. The first night there I did a guided tour for the others from the company of the subway system, the Empire State building and most of the midtown area. After being shown how to use the London Underground and the Paris Metro as a 19-year old, I know how much help that can be to a tourist in a new place.