Mixed emotions on a natal anniversary
It is a day on which The Legal Genealogist is profoundly grateful… and profoundly sad.
Grateful for having successfully completed another trip around the sun.
Grateful for the fact that I woke up warm, healthy, secure in my own home, and even with a clown of a cat demanding petting — and his breakfast.
Grateful for being so very lucky to be fully vaccinated now against the terrible virus we have faced in this pandemic.
Grateful for — and only too aware of — the fact that I have now outlived two of my four grandparents, and am closing in fast on a third grandparent and on both of my parents.
Even grateful — or perhaps especially grateful — for the fact that I woke up to sunshine today when the forecast had been for a wintry mix.
Grateful indeed for the fast-approaching spring of 2021.
But profoundly sad over what we have all lost during this past trip around the sun.
Sad for the missed reunions, the missed holidays, the missed smiles and hugs, the missed celebrations.
Sad for what so many have suffered and continue to suffer as this pandemic continues.
Sad for the lost opportunities.
And particularly — as I confront the reality of getting older — sad for the lost opportunities for travel.
It had felt bad enough, back last summer, when I admitted to myself that I would not be taking the month-long trip to do boots-on-the-ground German research into my father’s family history that I had cleared the September 2020 decks for and had spent so much time planning — and to which I had been so looking forward.
But today?
Today, I should not be here.
Not in my home.
Not in the state where I live.
Not even in the country where I was born on this day all those many years ago.
Today, I should be in Australia.
Getting together with friends who share my passion for genealogy. Getting to hold yet another koala. Getting up close and personal with those smiles and those hugs.
That will not happen here in 2021. We are early still in the rollout of vaccines in this country and around the world. So many borders are still closed. So many opportunities are still being lost.
It’s just not safe yet to get together in those kinds of groups.
So even as I feel gratitude for another trip around the sun, I will acknowledge the sadness of missing out on some parts of that trip I had so much wanted.
We are all absolutely entitled to those mixed emotions… and will be healthier in the long run if we permit ourselves to grieve what we have lost.
So I am truly grateful for where I am…
And profoundly sad for where I am not.
Here’s to a better year to come…
And, perhaps, to next year’s birthday… In Australia.
Cite/link to this post: Judy G. Russell, “The March of time,” The Legal Genealogist (https://www.legalgenealogist.com/blog : posted 19 March 2021).
Happy birthday, and I know exactly what you mean about gratitude, accompanied by a sense of loss. All we can do is keep on keeping on. Wishing you the best.
Thanks so much. It’s a tough time for everyone…
I totally agree with that feeling of gratitude mixed with sorrow. I am hopeful now that I am fully vaccinated but I am also sad because of the losses of the past year. At the same time, I know my suffering was nothing compared to so many others. May this coming year bring us health and happiness anew.
That “fully vaccinated” part is such a game-changer. If just others will do the same!!!!
Very happy returns of the day, Judy! And yes, it’s definitely a mixed bag of emotions. Can I say that I am extremely grateful that I’m tripping around the sun at the same time as you-? I appreciate your generous spirit in every blog post, webinar, and kind thoughts. Cheers, and may you have many more celebrations!
Thanks so much for the kind words, Celia, and can’t wait to hear all the good things about your new digs.
Judy,
This blog posting perfectly expressed my feelings about the past year. At age 83, I am profoundly grateful for having survived the past 12 months during which so many of my contemporaries have taken their last journey. I envy the writing skills which you employ always in making your blog such an enjoyable read.
Yes, Australia. Jennet was going to come along, too.
Hope your day is grand. You have landed on a biblical portion! Enjoy!
Three score and 10 indeed. Scary. How did that happen?????
The guest room is ready and waiting for you! It will be a celebration when that time comes and yes, definitely, there will be koalas! And there will be birds visiting just outside your bedroom door!
Thanks so much, Helen!! Fingers, toes and everything else crossed!!